The Penn is mightier than...Mother Nature?

Sean Penn is calling on Mother Nature for more natural disasters. In a continuous effort, the hideous Penn wants to take his fictitious big screen personas and put them in real life situations on the small screen. Penn said, "I know the truth behind Mother Nature and I won't rest until she's exposed. We all know she's a right wing bible thumping racist and she's in bed with all the lobbyists." Penn is also demanding better medical supplies at hospitals in Haiti to help the earthquake-ravaged nation cope with the upcoming hurricane season next month.

The "Shanghai Surprise" star has been instrumental in annoying more people off screen than entertaining them on screen. He wants to ensure that many of the devastated nation's people receive aid and his formula hair dye following the tremor which killed hundreds of thousands of citizens in January.

Penn missed the unveiling of his new movie "Fair Game", a remake of the brilliant film starring William Baldwin and Cindy Crawford, at the Cannes Film Festival in France on Thursday to testify at a U.S. Senate committee about the problems in the country.

During the meeting on Wednesday, Penn smoked cigarettes and insisted health care in Haiti needs "immediate attention" and that "Fair Game with William Baldwin and Cindy Crawford was a damn good movie and the story needed to be told again". Penn then continued to be mad for no reason what so ever and then said that several hospitals have been closed down - and he fears the nation will be overrun with emergencies once hurricane season begins and he won't be able to fight the hurricanes himself. He then pleaded with congress to pass the Anti-Mother Nature Bill, which he created, so we can expose the hidden agenda of "Ms. Mother Nature".

He adds, "In many cases, the bureaucracy of international aid is protecting people to death. I come here today as a highly paid movie actor that pretends in front of a camera in the hope that we will address with bold clarity the razor's edge upon which Haiti lies." Penn continued to say, "I also think I might want to remake the classic Bill Murray film 'The Razor's Edge'....It just needs to be told again."