Money for nothing and Baldwin for free: Baldwin in Dire Straits

A Christian group with nothing else to do has come to save the world and to the aid of bankrupt actor Stephen Baldwin - a website has been set up to allow fans to donate objects made out of money but not actually money itself. Baldwin says, "A chair made out of nickels and dimes? What the hell am I supposed to do with this?".

The born-again Christian filed for bankruptcy last year after he racked up more than $2.3 million worth of debt, stemming from several mortgages, tax bills, credit card accounts and the monstrous cost of rebuilding and replicating the set from "Bio-Dome" in his backyard. Baldwin had to shut down the rebuilding of the "Bio-Dome" set and had to send the the construction crew home. Pauly Shore is now currently looking for work.

Now a new website, Restorestephenbaldwin.org, was originally called Helpthegoofiestlookingbaldwin.org but was changed because William Baldwin's fan club website already had the name. The site was set up with permission from Daniel Southern who is the President of Baldwin's ministries and also happens to be his agent, dry cleaner, dog walker and hair stylist.

A statement from the website states, "He has been publicly ridiculed and insulted by people who think that he is a bad actor, which is quite frankly true, and that he has been abandoned by God. A simple search through the internet will reveal that people not only mock Stephen, but mock God. That simple search can also produce pictures of Stephen with God at a baseball game and a craft show." The site continues to say, "Our vision is to see Stephen Baldwin play Barney Rubble again in a new Flintstones movie."

In a last ditch attempt to avoid bankruptcy, Stephen Baldwin asked his brother, Alec, to eat up his debt. Alec said, "If you put gravy on it, I'll give it a go."

Kids in the Gyllenhaal

Overrated hambone Jake Gyllenhaal re-evaluated his blessed life following the icebox cover-up relationship with Kirsten Dunst and the death of fellow pretender in front of a camera, Heath Ledger - because the star realized he had become too focused on his abs and his career.

The lifeless actor was devastated when he found out the only reason he got acting jobs was because of his show business parents and when his "Brokeback Mountain" co-star died from an accidental drug overdose in January 2008.

The loss prompted Gyllenhaal to address his own mind bending issues - and he credits Ledger's passing with giving him the courage to make real changes. Gyllenhaal says, "Thank god that dude died. If he didn't die then I would would have continued to churn out vapid performances in movies that make no money. Well, I've actually continued to do that but if it wasn't for that guy dropping dead then I would have never thought about changing at some point down the road in the very far off future. I am so happy that guy died."

He tells the dormant GQ magazine, "Life, I didn't totally understand. And I think I was afraid of life. And I had success in my work, enough success that you could keep going back there.
But after that guy I did a movie with who stopped breathing... I think I recognized that it was work. And I recognized that this is for real." The editors at GQ magazine still don't know what Gyllenhaal was talking about. They replayed this quote over and over again to decipher the brainless words that exited his mouth. The quote was then sent to the Guinness Book of World Records for examination. After months of examination were complete, The Guinness Book of World Records has now officially labeled Gyllenhaal's quote as "The Stupidest Thing Ever Said".