Sean Penn is calling on Mother Nature for more natural disasters. In a continuous effort, the hideous Penn wants to take his fictitious big screen personas and put them in real life situations on the small screen. Penn said, "I know the truth behind Mother Nature and I won't rest until she's exposed. We all know she's a right wing bible thumping racist and she's in bed with all the lobbyists." Penn is also demanding better medical supplies at hospitals in Haiti to help the earthquake-ravaged nation cope with the upcoming hurricane season next month.
The "Shanghai Surprise" star has been instrumental in annoying more people off screen than entertaining them on screen. He wants to ensure that many of the devastated nation's people receive aid and his formula hair dye following the tremor which killed hundreds of thousands of citizens in January.
Penn missed the unveiling of his new movie "Fair Game", a remake of the brilliant film starring William Baldwin and Cindy Crawford, at the Cannes Film Festival in France on Thursday to testify at a U.S. Senate committee about the problems in the country.
During the meeting on Wednesday, Penn smoked cigarettes and insisted health care in Haiti needs "immediate attention" and that "Fair Game with William Baldwin and Cindy Crawford was a damn good movie and the story needed to be told again". Penn then continued to be mad for no reason what so ever and then said that several hospitals have been closed down - and he fears the nation will be overrun with emergencies once hurricane season begins and he won't be able to fight the hurricanes himself. He then pleaded with congress to pass the Anti-Mother Nature Bill, which he created, so we can expose the hidden agenda of "Ms. Mother Nature".
He adds, "In many cases, the bureaucracy of international aid is protecting people to death. I come here today as a highly paid movie actor that pretends in front of a camera in the hope that we will address with bold clarity the razor's edge upon which Haiti lies." Penn continued to say, "I also think I might want to remake the classic Bill Murray film 'The Razor's Edge'....It just needs to be told again."
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
In Living Carrey
Jim Carrey is putting his split from Prozac and Zoloft, as well as from Jenny McCarthy behind him-- literally. He was spotted putting the pills and a picture of McCarthy in his back pocket when enjoying a night out with a mystery blond in New York over the weekend.
The extremely annoying couple, who had been together for five years too long and had an embarrassing commitment ceremony last year, announced they were parting ways via their Twitter.com pages, which shows how important the relationship actually was. The reason they used Twitter to announce this earth shattering news was because it cuts down on the pointless cost of having a publicist make the announcement. Carrey's tweet said, "Jen and I have broken up." His next tweet read, "What's with the express lane at supermarkets?" Sources close to Carrey say he is truly broken up about the stupid relationship.
But it seems Carrey, his fifth, tenth and twenty third personality are moving on from the break-up - the funnyman was reportedly seen flirting with an unknown woman at the city's Pacha hotspot in the early hours of Sunday morning. The woman turned out to be Jim Carrey himself. An on-looker said, "He is just so talented. I mean the guy was flirting and trying to get it on with himself. He's just so versatile. The way he went from being a man to an attractive woman is just so..... I mean the guy can do anything!"
A source tells the overrated New York Post gossip column Page Six, "He arrived at 3am with an entourage of at least 10 women, two of the women were actually Carrey himself! Once in the VIP area, he turned his attention to a pretty blond, who looked a lot like Jenny and talked endlessly about autistic kids."
"Things were getting so hot and heavy, someone shouted, 'Get a room.' Jim just burst out laughing and started doing impressions of himself. He then recreated a scene from the film 'The Majestic' where he played both himself and Martin Landau. How he was able to recreate Martin Landau's wig is beyond me. I mean the guy is just so amazingly talented!"
The extremely annoying couple, who had been together for five years too long and had an embarrassing commitment ceremony last year, announced they were parting ways via their Twitter.com pages, which shows how important the relationship actually was. The reason they used Twitter to announce this earth shattering news was because it cuts down on the pointless cost of having a publicist make the announcement. Carrey's tweet said, "Jen and I have broken up." His next tweet read, "What's with the express lane at supermarkets?" Sources close to Carrey say he is truly broken up about the stupid relationship.
But it seems Carrey, his fifth, tenth and twenty third personality are moving on from the break-up - the funnyman was reportedly seen flirting with an unknown woman at the city's Pacha hotspot in the early hours of Sunday morning. The woman turned out to be Jim Carrey himself. An on-looker said, "He is just so talented. I mean the guy was flirting and trying to get it on with himself. He's just so versatile. The way he went from being a man to an attractive woman is just so..... I mean the guy can do anything!"
A source tells the overrated New York Post gossip column Page Six, "He arrived at 3am with an entourage of at least 10 women, two of the women were actually Carrey himself! Once in the VIP area, he turned his attention to a pretty blond, who looked a lot like Jenny and talked endlessly about autistic kids."
"Things were getting so hot and heavy, someone shouted, 'Get a room.' Jim just burst out laughing and started doing impressions of himself. He then recreated a scene from the film 'The Majestic' where he played both himself and Martin Landau. How he was able to recreate Martin Landau's wig is beyond me. I mean the guy is just so amazingly talented!"
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