Bit player Verne Troyer is hoping to get better acquainted with knee caps since he has spent most of his life at the ankle level. He is also hoping to get better acquainted with his fans by launching a new social networking website.
The oddity, who rose to about shin level as Mini Me in the one note Mike Myers' films, has set up the interactive site creatively called "Looking Up" on his official page cleverly called VerneTroyer.com - and is already busy uploading personal photos and videos of him having creepy sex and peeing in corners for his followers to check out, and encouraging them to post their own snaps. Verne is especially excited because his website can hold many more images than any other website because his photos are so tiny.
And Troyer is pleased he'll be able to use the website with the help of a giant chair to reach the keyboard so he can keep in touch with fans. The chair was donated by IKEA. An IKEA spokesperson said, "We are glad to help this thing out in anyway possible." When asked about making a special giant chair for Verne the spokesperson said, "We actually just gave him a chair from our junior collection."
He tells the unreadable Parade magazine, "I've launched a new website, VerneTroyer.com. It's linked to a social networking site called 'Looking Up', which is similar to Facebook. Well, it's exactly like Facebook. Listen, I am not a creative person. I'm small. That's all I got. Anyways, I get to chat with people that like my movies. I have them guess what other movies I've been in besides the Austin Powers movies. So far no one has guessed right. Actually no one has gone to the website yet. I type my website into Google and Google can't even see it. What does it take to be seen?"
A Google representative has even offered to help Verne's website to get more notice on their search engine. The Google rep says, "We have developed a search engine optimization tool especially for Verne. We are actually going to put Verne's website on the shoulders of a larger website. We are then going to put a large overcoat over both of them. Verne's website should be somewhat noticeable then." 2010 is going to be a huge year for Verne Troyer!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Law and Order of clean sheets
Fallen star Jude Law and nobody Sienna Miller have fuelled speculation that they are actors that the public is supposed to care about and that they've reignited their romance after jetting to Barbados for a festive break in the sun and acting lessons.
The abominable actress was spotted trying to be photographed while relaxing in a bikini with Law and his three children on one of the Caribbean island's white sand beaches on Sunday. They were also photographed giggling with British accents during a dinghy ride. During the ride Sienna hooked up with the dinghy operator and Jude successfully impregnated a sea turtle.
Miller is said to have spent Christmas Day in Barbados, which begs the question "How does this woman have money to vacation at all?" A recent Reuters survey has revealed that 10 out of 10 people don't know who Sienna Miller is or any of the movies that she has "starred" in.
The couple has reportedly checked into a beachfront villa, where they will be celebrity house maids. They have accepted a deal to change sheets and clean toilets for a room at the beachfront villa to off set any tattoo work for Sienna or any additional hair transplants for Jude while staying in Barbados to celebrate Miller's 28th birthday on Monday and Law's 37th on Tuesday.
It is the first time the "Alfie" co-stars have admitted they were in the movie "Alfie" and have been photographed together since they split in 2006 after Law's fling with his children's nanny was exposed in the press.
Despite almost four years apart and failed movie after failed movie, both stars have struggled to find lasting love - Miller slutted around with hideous actor Rhys Ifans, and so bravely endured a home-wrecker romance with married actor Balthazar Getty and his family's billions of dollars earlier this year, while single Law became a dad for the fourth time in September following a brief fling with American model Samantha Burke. In related news, "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" and "Casanova" can be found in the 1$ bin at Best Buy.
The abominable actress was spotted trying to be photographed while relaxing in a bikini with Law and his three children on one of the Caribbean island's white sand beaches on Sunday. They were also photographed giggling with British accents during a dinghy ride. During the ride Sienna hooked up with the dinghy operator and Jude successfully impregnated a sea turtle.
Miller is said to have spent Christmas Day in Barbados, which begs the question "How does this woman have money to vacation at all?" A recent Reuters survey has revealed that 10 out of 10 people don't know who Sienna Miller is or any of the movies that she has "starred" in.
The couple has reportedly checked into a beachfront villa, where they will be celebrity house maids. They have accepted a deal to change sheets and clean toilets for a room at the beachfront villa to off set any tattoo work for Sienna or any additional hair transplants for Jude while staying in Barbados to celebrate Miller's 28th birthday on Monday and Law's 37th on Tuesday.
It is the first time the "Alfie" co-stars have admitted they were in the movie "Alfie" and have been photographed together since they split in 2006 after Law's fling with his children's nanny was exposed in the press.
Despite almost four years apart and failed movie after failed movie, both stars have struggled to find lasting love - Miller slutted around with hideous actor Rhys Ifans, and so bravely endured a home-wrecker romance with married actor Balthazar Getty and his family's billions of dollars earlier this year, while single Law became a dad for the fourth time in September following a brief fling with American model Samantha Burke. In related news, "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" and "Casanova" can be found in the 1$ bin at Best Buy.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Like sands through the hour glass.....
As old as the sun itself, TV personality Barbara Walters has dismissed rumors of a sexy romance with creepy actor Frank Langella, insisting they are old friends. The effects of these rumors have been compared to the H1N1 flu. Once you have heard the rumor you will feel feverish with violent diarrhea followed by projectile vomiting. It is recommended that you seek shelter at once, cover your ears and close your eyes and think of young good looking people that are or could be romantically linked.
The pair sparked speculation they were a couple earlier this month after Walters and Langella were spotted together cashing Social Security checks and sucking on Humbugs at a bus stop in Washington, D.C..
But Walters, 80, has denied claims their relationship is more than platonic and that she uses Polident on her dentures.
She tells the New York Post's useless gossip column Page Six, "Frank and I have been friends for many years and will continue to be friends for many years, but it's not a romance. Frank lives far away from me and in order for me to see him on a regular basis I would have to drive at night. I can not drive at night anymore."
"Junior" star Langella, 71, has previously grossed the world out when he dated "Eddie" actress Whoopi Goldberg, Walters' co-host on the talk show "The View". Insiders say that Langella is also eyeing Joy Behar to complete what he calls the "Poseidon Trident Effect". When asked to explain, Langella only offered up, "Poseidon's Trident is the only weapon to bring water back to the desert."
The pair sparked speculation they were a couple earlier this month after Walters and Langella were spotted together cashing Social Security checks and sucking on Humbugs at a bus stop in Washington, D.C..
But Walters, 80, has denied claims their relationship is more than platonic and that she uses Polident on her dentures.
She tells the New York Post's useless gossip column Page Six, "Frank and I have been friends for many years and will continue to be friends for many years, but it's not a romance. Frank lives far away from me and in order for me to see him on a regular basis I would have to drive at night. I can not drive at night anymore."
"Junior" star Langella, 71, has previously grossed the world out when he dated "Eddie" actress Whoopi Goldberg, Walters' co-host on the talk show "The View". Insiders say that Langella is also eyeing Joy Behar to complete what he calls the "Poseidon Trident Effect". When asked to explain, Langella only offered up, "Poseidon's Trident is the only weapon to bring water back to the desert."
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
I'll have the Baldwin Extra Value Meal please
Alec Baldwin is a morning sex person along with a side order of bacon, sausage, four eggs, pancakes, hash browns and a glass of whole milk person, because a little early lovemaking and gluttony sets him up for the day.
The elephantine movie star, who is single after splitting the bed in half causing his former lawyer girlfriend, Nicole Seidel, to fall through the middle of the bed never to be found again.
Baldwin admits he's not fond of fruits, vegetables, walking and sex at night - because he's normally "comatose" after visiting the China Buffet across the street from his house.
He tells the obviously latent homosexual ab-tastic Men's Journal magazine, "At the end of the day, I'm exhausted...and hungry. Just taking a deep breath I break out in a sweat and the smell of my sweat makes me think of butter. So, I then have to eat a whole birthday cake. You understand right? But, in the morning, sex helps you get your mind right. You just blow out all your synapses and unprocessed Hollandaise Sauce and no matter what happens the rest of the day, nothing bothers you. Well, except my ex-wife Kim Basinger."
The elephantine movie star, who is single after splitting the bed in half causing his former lawyer girlfriend, Nicole Seidel, to fall through the middle of the bed never to be found again.
Baldwin admits he's not fond of fruits, vegetables, walking and sex at night - because he's normally "comatose" after visiting the China Buffet across the street from his house.
He tells the obviously latent homosexual ab-tastic Men's Journal magazine, "At the end of the day, I'm exhausted...and hungry. Just taking a deep breath I break out in a sweat and the smell of my sweat makes me think of butter. So, I then have to eat a whole birthday cake. You understand right? But, in the morning, sex helps you get your mind right. You just blow out all your synapses and unprocessed Hollandaise Sauce and no matter what happens the rest of the day, nothing bothers you. Well, except my ex-wife Kim Basinger."
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