The name is Stamos

John Stamos has confirmed his hair is just as luxurious as it was 25 years ago and he's been offered a role in the overrated TV show "Glee". He's already started training for a musical performance with voice coach David Coulier. Stamos says, "Everything has been going great! David has taught me to sing in a Donald Duck voice, a Popeye voice and a Scooby Doo voice, all of which are completely useless. I just don't have the heart to fire him. I might make my hair fire him."

The former "The Two Mr. Kissels" star will play a singing and dancing dentist when he joins the cast, and admits he's working hard to make sure he's fully prepared when his turn in the "Glee" spotlight finally comes. Stamos says, "Hey, if it works out great. If it doesn't, I don't care. I have 'Full House' money. I don't' have to do anything ever again. Do you understand that? I made so much money off that stupid show I don't have to get out of bed in the morning. Why do I get out of bed in the morning? Well, that's easy--my hair makes me get up. The shimmer and shine needs to be seen by the public every day or my hair gets mad at me." Stamos then lowered his voice and said, "You don't want to upset the hair."

He tells the unwatchable E! News, "I'm at the gym right now working out and Jerry O'Connell is spotting me. My ex-wife, Rebecca Romijin Stamos O'Connell Romijin Stamos O'Connell, is counting off my reps. It's a creepy family affair. I'm singing and dancing every day. All day. I can't stop! Did you know I sang and played with the Beach Boys? I am that good." A representative for the Beach Boys has released a statement in regards to John Stamos' comment, "Mr. Stamos needs to stop this. The Beach Boys didn't even realize Mr. Stamos was in the 'Kokomo' video. Apparently Mr. Stamos was on vacation, sneeked on to the video set and started to play the congas in a ridiculous fashion. The band has never met Mr. Stamos and they never intentionally played music with Mr. Stamos. They would like Mr. Stamos and his beautiful hair to stay as far away as possible. Thank you." Stamos was recently seen renting a copy of the film "Cocktail". More details to follow...