Thursday, November 12, 2009

Tara bites into the internet

The obsolete Tara Reid has brushed off crabs and rumours she is engaged to her internet entrepreneur boyfriend, which means he runs a cheap gambling site, after she was spotted sporting a large pink cold sore and diamond on her ring finger.

The horrendous actress met lonely German businessman Michael Axtmann earlier this year after she was released from a spell in rehab to treat her alcohol addiction. Relationship experts all agree that if you have a ton of money and are looking for a good time, just stand outside a drug rehab center in California. Dr. Neil Clark Warren of eHarmony fame was quoted saying, "I recommend it! It's like taking candy from a very washed up despondent baby."

The pair has been dating ever since, and sent gossip mongers into D-List overdrive when Reid was pictured wearing a massive pink sparkler on her left hand earlier this week. She then took the juvenile firework off her hand and replaced it with a ring.

But Reid insists they have no plans to wed in the near future, confessing the big jewel was just a generous birthday gift on loan from her lover. She will most definitely have to return it once the whole "Smokey cigarette voice and I was in a hit movie 10 years ago" thing wears off.

She tells People.com because Popsugar.com didn't even care, "I got a beautiful ring from my boyfriend for my birthday last weekend. But we're not engaged... yet!" She continued to say, "My boyfriend loves everything about me. He especially loves my stomach! He says it reminds him of a topographic map of Germany."

Reid was previously engaged to TV host Carson Daly before he started a diet that caused his eyes to become bigger than his head and proceed to scare away all 11 of his viewers.

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