McConaughey Loves Football and Himself

I have just come back from a set of press junkets and let me tell you this was by far the weirdest I have ever been a part of. "Tiptoes" star Matthew McConaughey was doing press junkets for his new predictable movie "We Are Marshall". Not only is the role of the coach in the movie taylor made for the push up loving, head band wearing, creepy bearded McConaughey; it was a perfect opportunity for the "all style and no substance" Smashmouth director McG. So after having a normal interview with the other film's star, "Party of Five"'s Matthew Fox, that consisted of the two us sitting in chairs with a poster of the film behind Fox and me asking horribly inane questions; I then continued to the next room to interview the over hyped star Matthew McConaughey. McConaughey's room was dressed up to look like a football locker room complete with lockers, benches and McConaughey himself dressed in the football coach's uniform from the movie. After McConaughey launched a ball at my head when I walked in the room he said, "Nice hands rookie!". I brought the bloody ball back to him and he said, "Lance would have caught that." I said I didn't care and proceeded to sit down in the designated chair to start asking my questions. Other than the elaborate decor of the room, I noticed there was no chair for my new beef-headed friend. There were only benches but McConaughey would not sit down. Instead, McConaughey stood above me holding the football and told me to start. I said I felt uncomfortable sitting while he was standing over me and would be more than happy to stand and ask my questions. McConaughey told me to stay seated because he was the coach and I was his player. LET THE WEIRDNESS BEGIN! The next 15 minutes went like this: McConaughey yelled every answer back to my questions while pacing back and forth, he dissected the grammar of my questions on a chalk board like a football play, he ate 13 skinless chicken breasts, two power bars, he executed 123 back breaking sit-ups, he threw the football against the locker in the climax of his incoherent rant about bongos, power squats and Jake Gyllenhaal, he then knelt down to pray while pointing that stupid index finger in the air that you see in everyone of his press photos while the first measure of Gary Glitter's Rock n' Roll Part 2 played. The room then fell to complete silence as I sat there for five minutes with my eyes popping out of my head. At that point I slowly crept from my chair and slinked out of the room with no words to be said.