Kirstie can only fit in a Alley

Xenu worshipping actress Kirstie Alley refuses to go under the knife to preserve her looks; instead she has opted to be cryogentically frozen in butter when she dies because she is convinced her wrinkles will help her land more movie roles and rolls.


The former "Madhouse" star, 59, insists she is content with her fleshy features and would never consider eating less than 22 meals a day and undergoing plastic surgery, especially as more and more actresses turn to the surgeon's knife to stay young in the industry. Kirstie says, "The only thing I will let a surgeon cut for me is my Wendy's Triple Stack."


She says, "I'm not a surgery girl, I'm a hungry girl and I haven't had plastic surgery but I have eaten plastic that required surgery to remove from my stomach. I don't wanna have plastic surgery but it's hard when you see your peers and things and they have. I go back-fat and forth and think, 'Who's gonna play grandmothers in movies?' Well that's easy, people like Shirley McClaine or Helen Mirren can. The real question is, 'Who's gonna play really fat grandmothers in movies?' You gotta be 100 to be a grandmother in a movie but you gotta be 350 pounds to be a fat grandmother! So maybe it just gives our group (actresses without surgery and huge amounts of blubber) more longevity to be filming." Kirstie is now working on a sequel to her 1984 film "Runaway". The film is tentatively called "Rollaway".