Monday, December 21, 2009

Like sands through the hour glass.....

As old as the sun itself, TV personality Barbara Walters has dismissed rumors of a sexy romance with creepy actor Frank Langella, insisting they are old friends. The effects of these rumors have been compared to the H1N1 flu. Once you have heard the rumor you will feel feverish with violent diarrhea followed by projectile vomiting. It is recommended that you seek shelter at once, cover your ears and close your eyes and think of young good looking people that are or could be romantically linked.

The pair sparked speculation they were a couple earlier this month after Walters and Langella were spotted together cashing Social Security checks and sucking on Humbugs at a bus stop in Washington, D.C..

But Walters, 80, has denied claims their relationship is more than platonic and that she uses Polident on her dentures.

She tells the New York Post's useless gossip column Page Six, "Frank and I have been friends for many years and will continue to be friends for many years, but it's not a romance. Frank lives far away from me and in order for me to see him on a regular basis I would have to drive at night. I can not drive at night anymore."

"Junior" star Langella, 71, has previously grossed the world out when he dated "Eddie" actress Whoopi Goldberg, Walters' co-host on the talk show "The View". Insiders say that Langella is also eyeing Joy Behar to complete what he calls the "Poseidon Trident Effect". When asked to explain, Langella only offered up, "Poseidon's Trident is the only weapon to bring water back to the desert."

No comments: