A Ford Recall

Old man Harrison Ford loathes everybody and everything, including his celebrity status - because Hollywood has cost him his "privacy". Ford says, "Privacy is everything to a man that willingly puts his face on forty foot screens for the general public to watch and has made hundreds of millions of dollars from doing such a thing. Why can't people, dogs, birds, fish, the sun and air just leave me alone!" Ford then continued to throw random punches in the air at nothing.

The 67 year old going on 300 years old has enjoyed a career spanning more than 40 years, and starred in blockbusters including "Regarding Henry", "Hollywood Homicide" and "Firewall".

But Ford, who is engaged to Calista Flockhart, hates being unable to escape the attention of the press and fans asking why on earth he would be with Calista Flockhart. Ford explains, "Listen, opposites attract. I like to eat and she doesn't. I am old and she is....not as old. And finally, I like to drink. A lot. So, I hope that clears up why I am with this woman!"

He continues to mumble, "There's nothing good about being famous. You always think, 'If I'm successful, then I'll have opportunities like being with beautiful women. I mean look what I have had and who I am with. It doesn't work. You also never figure the cost of fame will be a total loss of privacy. That's incalculable. Such as my 20% of the gross from 'K19-The Widowmaker'."

Ford continues to ramble, "Fame was unanticipated and I've never enjoyed it. You can get the table you want in a restaurant, where I will eat and Calista will watch. It gets you doctor's appointments to fill in my missing hair. But what's that worth? Nothing. Well, except the hundreds of millions of dollars I have made. But what's that really worth? Well, I guess it's worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Just forget it, OK!"

However, Ford admits there are some benefits to finding fame in the movie industry: "I'm in it for the money and the booze. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. This is my job. Where am I again?" Ford then stumbled away from the interview yelling, "I was a carpenter! Just a simple carpenter! I am Jesus Christ!"