Old man Harrison Ford loathes everybody and everything, including his celebrity status - because Hollywood has cost him his "privacy". Ford says, "Privacy is everything to a man that willingly puts his face on forty foot screens for the general public to watch and has made hundreds of millions of dollars from doing such a thing. Why can't people, dogs, birds, fish, the sun and air just leave me alone!" Ford then continued to throw random punches in the air at nothing.
The 67 year old going on 300 years old has enjoyed a career spanning more than 40 years, and starred in blockbusters including "Regarding Henry", "Hollywood Homicide" and "Firewall".
But Ford, who is engaged to Calista Flockhart, hates being unable to escape the attention of the press and fans asking why on earth he would be with Calista Flockhart. Ford explains, "Listen, opposites attract. I like to eat and she doesn't. I am old and she is....not as old. And finally, I like to drink. A lot. So, I hope that clears up why I am with this woman!"
He continues to mumble, "There's nothing good about being famous. You always think, 'If I'm successful, then I'll have opportunities like being with beautiful women. I mean look what I have had and who I am with. It doesn't work. You also never figure the cost of fame will be a total loss of privacy. That's incalculable. Such as my 20% of the gross from 'K19-The Widowmaker'."
Ford continues to ramble, "Fame was unanticipated and I've never enjoyed it. You can get the table you want in a restaurant, where I will eat and Calista will watch. It gets you doctor's appointments to fill in my missing hair. But what's that worth? Nothing. Well, except the hundreds of millions of dollars I have made. But what's that really worth? Well, I guess it's worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Just forget it, OK!"
However, Ford admits there are some benefits to finding fame in the movie industry: "I'm in it for the money and the booze. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. This is my job. Where am I again?" Ford then stumbled away from the interview yelling, "I was a carpenter! Just a simple carpenter! I am Jesus Christ!"
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
The Nielsen Ratings
Brigitte Nielsen boasts an D-list career and A-list fan base. R&Battered beauty Rihanna has hailed the Danish actress as a style icon and someone she would hire to put the beat down on Chris Brown.
The model-turned-never a movie star was stunned at the recent People's Choice Awards in Los Angeles because they actually let her in and when the "Umbrella" hitmaker ran up to her and began showering her in compliments.
Nielsen is delighted to have influenced the young stars of today. She says, "When I was filming 'Red Sonia', producer Dino DeLaurentiis' daughter would visit the set with her huge head, stubby sausage fingers, cock nose and horribly annoying toothy smile. I told her to forget about your looks because you will always be unattractive and annoying. Instead, rely on the money from your movie producer father then marry a rich man with no personality and everything will work out. She now has a show on the Food Network and has a house on the beach. I'm just glad I could help."
She tells unheard of Dansk magazine, "At the People’s Choice Awards, Rihanna came up to me and said: ‘Brigitte, can I just be you for one day?’
"I’m like, start off bleaching that hair, girl! Then sleep with the following people in order- action star Arnold Schwarzenegger, action star Sylvester Stallone, action director Tony Scott, Football star Mark Gastineau and then Orland Bloom's cousin, Sebastian Copeland. Rihanna then asked if that was it. I said no, then sleep with a failed Rap star, anyone of your choosing, and then you can be me for day." Brigitte continued to say, "I’m very proud of what I’ve accomplished. Which is absolutely nothing."
The model-turned-never a movie star was stunned at the recent People's Choice Awards in Los Angeles because they actually let her in and when the "Umbrella" hitmaker ran up to her and began showering her in compliments.
Nielsen is delighted to have influenced the young stars of today. She says, "When I was filming 'Red Sonia', producer Dino DeLaurentiis' daughter would visit the set with her huge head, stubby sausage fingers, cock nose and horribly annoying toothy smile. I told her to forget about your looks because you will always be unattractive and annoying. Instead, rely on the money from your movie producer father then marry a rich man with no personality and everything will work out. She now has a show on the Food Network and has a house on the beach. I'm just glad I could help."
She tells unheard of Dansk magazine, "At the People’s Choice Awards, Rihanna came up to me and said: ‘Brigitte, can I just be you for one day?’
"I’m like, start off bleaching that hair, girl! Then sleep with the following people in order- action star Arnold Schwarzenegger, action star Sylvester Stallone, action director Tony Scott, Football star Mark Gastineau and then Orland Bloom's cousin, Sebastian Copeland. Rihanna then asked if that was it. I said no, then sleep with a failed Rap star, anyone of your choosing, and then you can be me for day." Brigitte continued to say, "I’m very proud of what I’ve accomplished. Which is absolutely nothing."
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